Friday, August 20, 2010

Pedro Alvarez and Andrew McCutchen vs. The Pittsburgh Pirates' Legendary Shame

8-20-10 vs the New York Mets

In honor of this most special of days, the loss that designates this the Pittsburgh Pirates' 18th consecutive losing season, I would like to present to all of you my imagining of two clutch hits that I will surely see in my dreams tonight.
Pedro Alvarez takes a swing at the ghostly disembodied head of David Littlefield. It's not that much of a stretch; his spirit haunts PNC Park to this very day. Right about now some promising young pitchers acquired four years ago in the draft should be ready to make their MLB debut. Trouble is, there aren't any.

Take that, Littlefield.
Andrew McCutchen, in turn, swings for the bleachers at the ghostly disembodied head of Kevin McClatchy. Thanks for keeping the team in Pittsburgh, McClatchy. No thanks for making oh so many Pittsburghers come to regret it.

Take that, McClatchy.

It is my firm belief that these two players will be prominent members of the first winning Pirates team. I have faith that we will see this team within the next couple of years. It is my hope that these images are prophecies of things to come.

Figuratively, of course.

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